R2 Bee Too/Transcript
Hank Yarbo: Yarbie waved "hi" to you Wanda. Wanda Dollard: Yarbie? Hank: That's what I named him. You know where that name came from? Wanda: An undeveloped brain? Yarbie: Ha, ha. Wanda: See, Yarbie liked it. Hank: I pressed the wrong button. Yarbie: You suck. Hank: There we go. Davis Quinton: Ah, cool robot, jealous me. Wanda: You become more like a 12 year old girl every day. Davis: I get like that around robots. I always wanted a robot. I love robots. Robots are the best. Robot. Wanda: You know, I actually studied mechanical engineering at a technical institute... Hank: Yeah, yeah, we're talking robots here, OK? Davis: Where'd you get him? Hank: On eBay. Davis: Hi, I'm Sergeant Quinton, senior police officer. Yarbie: Your fly is down. Davis: What? Yarbie: Ha, ha. Hank: Isn't technology awesome? Wanda: Yeah and your fly really is down. Oscar Leroy: Get back! Bees, bees! Karen Pelly: Leaves? Oscar: Bees! Karen: He's? Oscar: Bees. Karen: Cheese? Oscar: Bees! Karen: I know, I'm just messing with ya. Don't worry, we'll get rid of these fleas. Oscar: Bees! Brent Leroy: What's up? Wanda finally snap and kill Hank? We all saw this coming. Oscar: There's a hive of, whatever, stingy buds up there. Brent: Huh, probably bees. Well, no need to panic, I know how to get rid of them. Brent: Hey Wanda, I just saw a couple of bees outside so you have to be very careful. Do you have your epipen? Wanda: I'm not allergic to bees. Brent: Then have I got a job for you. Lacey Burrows: OK, what can I get you? Brent: Ladies first. Emma Leroy: Since when do you... Brent: Blew your chance, gotta be ready. I'll have a chili cheese dog. Lacey: Oh, big surprise. Brent: Shouldn't be. I have one everyday. Lacey: I was being sarcastic. Brent: You were? Lacey: Why don't you try something different for once? Emma: Are you still being sarcastic? Lacey: I've got a big, full menu. Emma: He really only likes my cooking, Lacey. He's a bit of a fuss bucket. Brent: I'm not fussy nor bucket-y. Emma: When you were a baby, you wouldn't eat your pablum unless I put gravy on it. Brent: I didn't care what kind of gravy. Lacey: Try the Chicken Kiev. Emma: He doesn't like that fancy foreign food with all the spices and Kievs on it. He's delicate. Brent: I am not delicate. In fact, I will have a bowl of this Chicken Kiev you're always going on about. Lacey: Ah, this is the first time I've mentioned it and it doesn't come in a bowl. Brent: Doesn't the gravy drip off the plate? Lacey: There is no gravy. Brent: Chicken without gravy? This keeps getting weirder. Oscar: Get rid of those bees. Wanda: I know, I'm reading this book on how to do it. Step one, call an exterminator. Step two, explain to Oscar how a cordless phone works. Oscar: Do it yourself and pocket the money. All you need is a broom and a car. That's how I did it. Oscar: Ha, ha, ha. Whoa, ow, ow! Oscar: Just remember to roll up the window. Brent: Hmm, it's uh... Emma: Bland? Brent: No. Lacey: Delicious. Brent: No. Emma: Repulsive? Brent: No, it's interesting. Lacey: What does that mean? Brent: It means it's of interest. I mean, there's chicken. It's fried, I like the fried element to it, big fan of fried. But then some kind of goop oozed out of it. Not a big fan of goop. Lacey: That goop is butter. Brent: Ooo, big fan of butter. Emma: Chicken stuffed with butter, that's just gross and unhealthy. Brent: Ooo, big fan of unhealthy. The verdict's in. I likes it. Lacey: Ah-ha! Karen: What does he likes. I mean, like. Lacey: My Chicken Kiev. He's a big fan. Emma: He's just a fan of fried goop. Get over yourself. Karen: Brent had something other than a chili cheese dog? Wow. OK, hook me up with this Chicken Diaz. Brent: You gotta have it. It's like an angel crapped on your plate. Davis: I don't mean to brag but I bought the robot to end all robots on eBay. I'll give you a hint, R2... Hank: Uh-huh. Davis: D2. Hank: Uh-huh. Davis: R2-D2. Hank: Cool, you got an R2-D2? Davis: Not an R2-D2, the R2-D2 from a little movie called "The Star Wars." Hank: It's just "Star Wars." Davis: Yeah, but it was originally called...I don't want to get into this again. Point is, this is gonna be all mine. Hank: Wow. Davis: Only paid $700. They wanted $60. I was the only bidder but I didn't want to take any chances. Hank: This is so awesome. When R2 gets here, you, me, R2 and Yarbie can hang out. Movies, dinners. Davis: Plus, these little robots are chick magnets. They're gonna be all over us. Hank: Yeah, and the robots. Lacey: Trying the Chicken Kiev I see. You gotta admit, it's pretty good. That's what I've heard. Emma: Sorry, I can hear you over the sound of my arteries clogging. Lacey: Oh, come on Emma, you should be happy for Brent. He's exploring a whole new world of cuisine. You know besides meat loaf or macaroni and cheese or tuna casserole or tuna loaf with cheese or meat casserole. Emma: You're playing fast and loose with Brent's taste buds. This is a dangerous game, Lacey. A dangerous game. Lacey: Have you been drinking? Emma: No, a little cough syrup this morning. I'm fighting a cold, knock out the cobwebs. Brent: Mmm, let's see. What should I try today? I can order anything off this menu. I think I will try the penne with vegetables in a white wine cream sauce. And for dessert, ah what the hell, I'll try the fish cakes. Lacey: That's more of an appetizer thing. Brent: Hmm, maybe I'll start with them then. Lacey: Wine sauce and fish cakes. It's a brave new world. Davis: Hey Karen, look what I just bought on eBay. Karen: A picture of R2-D2? Davis: No, the actual R2-D2 from the movie Star Wars, see? Karen: For how much? Davis: Only $1500. Hank: I thought you bought it for $700. Davis: OK $2000, insurance included. Karen: The actual R2-D2 would cost like a gajillion dollars. Davis: $3500. And uh Karen, it says here "authentic, not a rip-off." Hank didn't get ripped off and he bought his robot on eBay. Hank: That true. Although the batteries are supposed to be included. Make sure the batteries are included, Davis. Davis: Yep, it says they are. Hank: Well, then you're good to go then. Oscar: Come on, get stung already. Hit it with a pitchfork. Wanda: Gotta find out what kind of bees these are. Just a simple matter of cross-referencing the structure of the thorax with the pattern on the abdomen. If they'd stop squirming around for two seconds. Oscar: All right, I'm gonna get things started here. Wanda: Don't throw a rock. I wanna save the hive and make some cash off the honey. You see, you look at the situation as a problem. I look at the situation as an opportunity. And that's where we're all, ah, ah, ah! Oscar: There we go! This is what I paid to see. Bees 1, Wanda 0. Karen: Are you cutting a hole in the trunk for R2-D2? Davis: He can ride with us. GPS? Don't need it anymore. R2-D2. Phones? Don't need them. R2-D2. We can send holographic messages to each other. Karen: When would we ever need to do that? Karen: Davis, you're my only hope. I need to borrow your stapler. Davis, you're my only hope. I need to borrow your stapler. Karen: Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to transfer, where are the forms? Brent: What you lacked in presentation, you made up for in taste. Lacey: So, you liked it? Brent: I liked the idea of it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like sauce. But the pasta was drowning in it, instead of being lightly caressed. Emma: I noticed that right away. Brent: And the vegetables were like "what are we doing in here? Did somebody make a mistake and miss the garbage can and toss us into this unfortunate excuse for a pasta dish instead?" I'm saying the vegetables were a mistake. Lacey: I heard what the vegetables said. I mean, what you said they said. Karen: So, you wanna recommend the penne, Brent? Brent: Not unless you want to torture your taste buds or play a cruel joke on your enemies. Anyway, thanks for lunch. See you later, Lacey. Emma: I'm not going to say I told you so. Karen? Karen: She told you so. Oscar: Ha, ha, ha. Going to a wedding? Wanda: For your information this is the proper way to get rid of a hive. I put a gentled wrapped bag around it and then transfer it to a box apiary hive. And then transfer the honey into money. Oscar: Too complicated. Wanda: Oscar, don't! Oscar: I hit the hive, we run for the car, the motor's running and boom, we're out of here. Wanda: Just let me take care of it. Oscar: Too late. Wanda: Ah! Oscar: Well, get rid of it! Wanda: Whoa! Oscar: What'd you do that for? Wanda: I panicked. But in hindsight, I'm happy with my decision. Davis: It's here, it's here. R2-D2 is in that box. Karen: Well, open it. Davis: I can't, I'm too excited to open it. Karen: OK, I'll open it. Davis: No, I'll open it. You open it. Karen: Davis, it's junk. Davis: Of course it is. I have to put R2 together. See? It's the instructions. Karen: They're written in pencil. Davis: Look at this, a letter of authenticity signed by Mr. George Lucas. Karen: And it doesn't bother you that it's written on the back of a pizza box. And that Lucas is spelled with a "K?" Davis: He was probably distracted by how good the pizza was. Lacey: Hey Fitzy, haven't seen you at the Ruby lately. Fitzy Fitzgerald: Yeah, I didn't see anything on Brent's list that grabbed me. Lacey: What list? Lacey: What's with the board? Brent: People are interested in my thoughts on food and this just makes it easier. Hank: Oh, I wish I'd seen that before I ate. Lacey: What are you talking about? You loved your fries. Hank: I don't know. Did I, Brent? Brent: A little soggy. Lacey: Brent. Wanda: Got rid of the bees. Oscar: Miss Beekeeper over here panicked and threw them in the car. It's still running. Brent: I've got to say, this turned out much better than I could have hoped for. Oscar: I'm going in. Ow, ow, ow! Wanda: That's right, nowhere to hide! Brent: Doesn't anyone in this town own a video camera? Lacey: Hey. Emma: What do you want? Lacey: Can't a girl just say "hey?" Emma: I guess. Lacey: OK look, Brent has become a food critic from hell. He is ruining my business. Emma: Oh, so you need my h-. My hel-. Come on Lacey, you can say it. My hel-... Lacey: I need your help. OK, I need your help. Emma: Because you were wr-, wr-... Lacey: Wrong. I was wrong. Emma: And a little m-, mi-, miss... Lacey: OK, I don't know what you're saying. Emma: Misguided. Lacey: How was I supposed to guess that? Look, I need you to cook a meal that Brent likes that I can put on my menu so people start eating here again. Emma: Ah, who would have thought that my humble macaroni and cheese would ah, ah, ah... Lacey: OK, enough already. Emma: No, I'm gonna sneeze. It went away. I hate it when that happens. Karen: You're right, it does have a cute whistle. Davis: I traded my ski-boat for this? Unbelievable. Hank: Cool, that is so awesome. Let's put it together. Karen: It is together. Hank: Oh. Well here, this will make you feel better. Yarbie: Loser. Hank: Oh, sorry. Wrong button. Yarbie: You suck. Hank: Nope. Wait, hold on. Yarbie: You suck. Hank: Well, if that's the way he feels. Davis: This is so embarrassing. People are going to say "there goes the cop who traded in his ski-boat for a garbage can, flashlight and slide whistle." Hank: The good news is you've got a garbage can you can use in the dark. Karen: Relax, there's only a few of us that know about this. Davis (cruiser megaphone): Come and meet R2-D2 tomorrow. Get an autograph from real life movie star R2-D2. Hank: Yep, there's a line-up outside. Davis: Aw, great. Maybe I can grow a beard and get a transfer to a different town. Karen: Or maybe we can just haul it to the dump. You can say they decided not to sell it to you and your ski-boat's somewhere. Davis: Yeah. Not bad, Rookie. Karen: All right, let's go. Move fast. Luke Skywalker Kid: Is that R2-D2? Hank: No, nothing that exciting. It's just a bomb. Kid: Can we see R2-D2 later? Hank: You bet, ow! May the force be with you. Brent: I'm in the mood for an amuse-gueule, what do you recommend? Lacey: I recommend that you stick to the English language. Do you even know what that means? Brent: I heard it on a cooking show. Sounded fancy. So, could you bring me a couple? Lacey: Well, I would but we're all out. I do however recommend today's special, it may amuse you. Brent: Special, huh? What's so special about it? Lacey: What isn't special about it? It's got red rum on it. I mean bread crumbs, sorry. More breadcrumbs than red rum. And mud on a brick. Brent: What? Lacey: Like Mom used to make. Just like Mom used to make is what I said. Brent: Oh, we'll see about that. Davis: Hurry up! Hank: I'm pumping as fast as I can. Oscar: Hey, Davis. How many bullets you got in your gun? Davis: Thirteen. Oscar: We're gonna need 587 more. Wanda: They're not fish in a barrel. Look, as much as I'd love to see you blow 600 holes in your car, I don't want you blowing any in the hive. We just need something to put it in. Davis: There's nothing in the back of the truck. Wanda: I didn't say there was. Oscar: What's under the blanket? Hank: Just a bomb. Davis: It's not a bomb. It's just some junk we're taking to the dump. Oscar: Maybe we could use the bomb to blow up the bees and then I could finally turn off my car. Wanda: Always thinking. Is that your R2-D2? Boy, did they see you coming. What'd they soak you for? Davis: Only $60. Wanda: Hang on. I have a plan. Brent: Nice aroma, good heft. We're off to good start. Emma: Just eat the damn thing. Brent: The last thing you want to do is rush a connoisseur. OK, where do I start? Were the noodles boiled in toilet water? Emma: What? Lacey: Ah, Brent... Brent: Or was the mother who prepared this doing time in prison for murdering this dish? Lacey: Your mother made this. Brent: That would have been useful information 11 seconds ago. Emma: Way to go, Lacey. You turned my son against my cooking. Brent: This is one of my favourite things. I used to love this. What happened to me? Emma: You're eating with your head. And not the mouth part of your head. You never used to care if your pasta was el dente or not. You just pushed it into your face and you were happy. Brent: I want to be happy again. I want to eat with just the mouth part of my head again. Lacey: Well I am so sorry for trying to get you to try something new. Go back to sucking down chili cheese dogs. Brent: Well, I don't know if I even can. Will I like them or will I be thinking about the chili to bun ratio? Which should never exceed 3 to 1 because the texture... Lacey: Brent. Brent: Dammit! Wanda: You want to see animatronic engineering? Check this out. Davis: That's it? Wanda: Ah, come on. That would have got me an "A" in Robotics 101. A+ if I could have got the slide whistle to work. Oscar: Are we gonna jerk around with your toys all day or come up with a plan? Wanda: Oh, there's a plan. Wanda: OK, so does everybody know what they're doing? Oscar: Got it. Hank: Yep. Wanda: Let's do this. Davis: We did it! Hank: Way to go Yarbie! Davis: And R2-D2. Lacey: Do you like it? Brent: Oh baby, it's heaven in a tube. Lacey: Ah, he likes it. Brent: Whoa, whoa. Where are you going with the macaroni? That's dessert. Emma: Good to have you back. Hank: I bet Davis and his R2-D2 don't have this much fun, huh? Davis: Good job, R2. It's not necessary. Karen: I don't care. Category:Transcripts